FLATTERY

Excessive or insincere praise!

Are you doing a good deed, if you complement someone on some physical aspect in which you believe they take pride, although you know it is insincere?

They probably know it’s insincere also, however in their mind it bolsters the image of themselves they would like to project. Is this showing kindness to this person?

Or is flattery simply words or deeds conjured in a devious mind and stated by a dishonest tongue.

I think the answer depends on the intent of the flatter and the situation. For instance when someone has spent an enormous amount of time braiding their hair into dreadlocks with streaks of red and you really don’t like it, but you complement them and they radiate with pride.Is this a good deed? I think it is when you did it with the intention of making that person feel better about themselves that flattery is appropriate.

When Sarah found out she was pregnant by Abraham, who was in his 90s so the Bible tells us, she burst out with laughter. This has been interpreted as Sarah having a great deal of joy at carrying Isaac. Actually she was laughing at Abraham having been been able to sire a child at his age.

This has been referred to by our sages as a white lie. Is this a form of flattery. Because it is found in the Bible, is this justification or confirmation that flattery can be a good deed?

I think the answer is that flattey is appropriate in certain situations, and the flatterer must have good intentions and use good judgment.

Wayne Lazarus